What if the whole world farted at once?....

....it would still smell better than here!!!

Crap. Still stuck out here on the Sedco 701. Pipe finally pulled free and it looks as though my dreams of Malongo might come true tomorrow avo. *Praying For Freedom!* This rig has great people and a great atmosphere but is absolutely mingin'! Sorry Darren but I fail to see how this rig could even be considered on your list of 'good rigs in Malongo'. I would hate to see the bad ones. I am convinced that someone is harbouring a dead body (or multiple bodies) in the bathroom on the lower accomodation level. The stench is so bad I have to hold my breath when I walk down the corridor. I submitted a 'safety card' on the rig that read: "bathroom on lower accomodation level smells as though a human body may possibly be decaying inside. Please send a team in to check all toilets and shower stalls and investigate the source of the stench." Hopefully that gets someone's attention.

If dead people in the bathroom isn't enough, there is a 'boot room' at the end of the hall just before going outside...picture this...a room, 34 years old...34 solid years of feet, 34 years of feet coming out of stinky, sweaty boots...half of those feet have not been washed for days...yeah, enough said. Thank god I have been blessed with a cold that comes complete with a blocked nose and deadened sense of smell or I might have actually died this week! Thus brings us to the conclusion of my rant.
Lessons Learned: When heading offshore, always take a FULL bottle of perfume and swimming nose plugs Also, it is advisable never to walk alone on the 701, as it is possible that someone is waiting in the shadows to kill you, dismember you and hide random body parts in the toilets.

Three blog posts in one week on the same rig...I wonder if the 'potential decaying human' was formerly the earthly form of my muse?